Friday, February 19, 2010

I Wanna Be Awesome and Don't Tell Me I'm Huge (I already know)

Here is some sharing of the heart that I so value in others and struggle mightily to do myself.  I am a bit inexperienced at it, so go easy.  ;)

Just like everyone else, I wanna be awesome.  I think there are varying degrees of this sentiment... To me, it means I want to 1. See Goal  2. Attempt goal and  3. Achieve some respectable semblance of said goal.  Here is my current goal.

1.  Produce J&S baby number 4.
2.  Attempted last year sometime (hehe)
3.  Baby will debut on, around, but likely before, May 16th.

Great!  Well on the way!  Its just that this whole incubation thing is super tough for me.  I have a hunch this is pretty universal for all preggos.  We want to do a lot (even though the above goal IS a lot!)  We are used to doing a lot.  (Previous kids, hobbies, work, goals.) And alas, there comes a point in pregnancy when we just cannot do a lot.  (Except for baking cookies and sweet bread which only exacerbates the problem!  Come on by if you want some cookies.)

Trust me, there is no shortage of things to do.  I have an enormous mess right here of unfinished projects from that quilt to these piles of keepsakes to be put in books, cleaning etc... PLUS I guess this is my year to be in charge of our production of Handel's Messiah, which is big this time cuz its the 25th year!  I was asked to direct the stake choir in April and also to perform at a local event in May.  Guess what! I'm just a girl who can't say no!  Oh yeah, and I already have three boys.  And though I do have anxiety about these things with another baby coming, I seem to love having a full plate.

Speaking of full, here is my real beef of the day.

Tell me how you would take this:

"Hey Stacey!  You're due any time now, right!?"
"No.  Not until May 16th."
"OH!" (walks away with a stunned face)

I take it as an innocent comment that stings a bit.  Me and my full bellied self hear this almost every time I go out in public lately!  Trust me, I am not a hater and I have even heard myself say similar things to women.  But seriously, the frequency that I am hearing this is starting to make me not want to do anything or see anyone.  But lonely is not a fun option either.

This last Sunday, I did something I have never done before.  I asked to be released from a church calling.  I have been conducting the sacrament meeting music for almost three years now.  Since my burgeoning belly has arrived, I have received MANY comments, both welcome and unwelcome.  The latter has been very frequent lately and I am having a tough time keeping it together.  I don't want to be on weekly display for my ward any more as I grow this baby.  

So.  Reader.  (singular.  hey sis!)  Lets be aware of this type of thing.  Ogling someone's belly and declaring that they look ready to pop or any version of the comment is likely to make that person go home and cry.  

I need a cookie.  

Note:  Since writing this post, I decided to forgo directing the stake choir this year.  Something about standing with my backside to hundreds of people while nine-months pregnant just doesn't sit well...


Traci said...

You are BEAUTIFUL my sweet friend! Love you!

McKenzie said...

Theeeerrreeeee we go! Stac you have always amazed me at the amount of things you are able to do at once! um graduate from BYU with a double major a 2 year old and preggers anyone? annd, you always look great when youre preggers! great hair and all skinny in back and then woooooshh! cute little preggo belly. i love you stac!

kitty said...

People suck. I think you look great.

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