Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Maybe I am a mother

Are there any words for the love of a mother?  How can I show my boys how my love for them is woven through each fiber in the tapestry of my heart?  Their similarities, their differences.  The things about them that make me laugh and also the things that make me mad sometimes.  I love them all.

Did you know my boys laugh with me daily?  Did you know its hard for me to refrain from trying to crack them up during church?

Will is mellow and reliable. Will would drop ANYTHING and instantly at that to obey or help out.  He will even do it over and over.  Will is a magnet for kids and babies.  He knows it too.  It kinda freaks him out but also touches his heart.  He is a serious fan of the best music.  He likes it all but he would choose Handel over all the rest.  He says he loves how he feels when he listens to it.  He will be in MIDDLE FREAKING SCHOOL in September!  @#*&@#)($&#)@($*#@(!!!!!!!!

Tyson is deep and sensitive.  I am good at hiding my feelings from EVERYONE in this whole world except for this amazing 8 year old.  He is always right on with gauging my feelings.  There is nothing Tyson can't do.  He really believes that and so do I.  He can cook.  He can build things.   He can make the baby laugh like a wild hyena.  He has an extraordinary aptitude for spatial design and I think he would be a great architect.  He wants to be a pro golfer.

Where did Zach come from??  He is wild and adorable.  Every night he gets crazier minute by minute, until we finally make him get into bed.  He then says he can't sleep then starts snoring within seconds.  He is 6, ridiculously gifted in music and also in art.  He says he wants to be a graphic designer.  To others I think he comes across as a rough and tumble kind of boy.  He is really more like a teddy bear on crack.  :)  But since you shouldn't relate illegal drugs to children, suffice it to say that he has a lot of boundless energy and simultaneously, boundless sweetness and tenderness.  And drama.

Baby Oliver.  The oldest baby ever.  He is a little man.  It feels like I have known him forever.  He likes his hands touched and will randomly give giant, open mouth kisses.  I hope this is a phase.  ;)  I am so thrilled to be able to be home with him.  He has expanded my heart to new depths.

Today I practiced singing lullabies while the kids were at school.  I imagined singing to them and rocking them to sleep, one by one.  Maybe I am crazy.  Maybe I am a mother.
{Zach, asleep under the piano, sometime in the middle of a Christmas party}


Stacey said...

I love this post. I love your boys too. You described them all perfectly. Dang it - why can't we live closer?!! (@#$%, @#$%, #@$%, @#%$)!!

Myra Johnson said...

I had the privilege of attending a RS fireside the other night where Sis. Julie Beck was the speaker. She opened it up to questions and responded to them for over an hour. She is sooooooo inspiring! I wanted to share with you one of the questions she was asked, and her response:

A lady's question began with some explaining of what she was doing in trying to find her own identity. She's struggled to know who she was, and so one of the things she's done is come up with a mantra that she says to herself daily, purposely excluding words like mother, sister, wife... and just saying other words to describe who she is.. smart, sexy.... whatever. Anyway, Sis Beck's response was so great, but I can't really remember what she said at that point. What she said as a second answer to her question was awesome and is what I remember. She said that we really can't put away the word 'mother' when we describe ourselves, for that is our eternal identity. She talked of Eve, and she said that even though we may not have children on this earth, we are still 'mother'. It was classic. I love being a mother!

Mia said...

Beautiful Stacey. So beautiful.

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